What if you are not a failure or wrong, just different? What if you are different from what you thought you were, and you can start to choose what will work for you and no-one else? Are you actually going to fail? Or are you going to create something that is totally different from what you’ve created before?
Here’s an exercise you can do to acknowledge your difference and give up the failure mindset:
1. Write down what you believe are your failures in life. Did you fail at a business? Did you make a choice that lost money? Did you have a terrible relationship break up? Did you fail math at school? Once you have written them down, take a look, and for each one ask, “If I didn’t judge this as a failure, what contribution can I receive from this?” and “What awareness did this create in my life that I would not have otherwise?” Write down what pops into your head. Get out of the judgement of your choice and ask to become aware of the contribution, the change, the awareness that it created for you.
2. Write down what you believe are your “personal wrongnesses.” What do you judge yourself for being and doing? Procrastinating? Being messy? Always having to get it perfect? Have a look at the list of things you judge yourself for being wrong for. Ask, “If I took away my judgement of wrongness around this, what strongness would this actually be?” You may think there is nothing strong about procrastinating, but I find that most people who procrastinate either have a great awareness of the timing of things that they have not acknowledged, or they are actually capable of creating far more than they thought and do not have enough going on in their lives. What they were judging – the procrastination – is actually a strongness and a capacity that they haven’t acknowledged or fully taken advantage of yet. What if that were true for all your “wrongnesses”? How many strongnesses of you can you begin to uncover with this exercise? You might soon discover you are not wrong. “I need or want money – and neither do you!”