14 years ago, I had businesses, I travelled the world and I truly desired to contribute to the planet. I was also $187,000 in debt, with nothing much to show for it.
Then I met a man who changed my life. At the time, I had a business called “Good Vibes For You”. I was running a stall at a Mind, Body and Spirit Festival in Sydney, and we had stickers, badges and t-shirts with positive sayings on it like “be the change you want to see in the world” and “what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?”
My friend was working at another stall run by a man called Gary Douglas, and he brought Gary over to say hello. Gary gave me a hug, and I pulled back instantly. He said “You know, you would be a lot better off if you were open to receiving. You’d make a lot more money too!”
I thought “this guy is crazy, what does he mean receiving? I thought I had to give!”
It turns out, Gary was correct. Money, and a lot of other things, can come in to your life when you are willing to receive them. But we aren’t taught about receiving. We don’t talk about it, we don’t even really get what receiving is.
Gary was the first person in my life who spoke about receiving; that being willing to receive was about being yourself, having joy in your life and being willing to receive the abundance of everything – including money. Today, I actually work with Gary as the worldwide co-ordinator for his global company.
Here are four things I learned from him that allowed me to start receiving more money, and many other things in my life, with ease:
- Receiving isn’t taking.Receiving is as much a gift for the giver as the receiver. Taking is the point of view that when you take the person who gives has less. Giving is the point of view that you give something away. Receiving is a gift for all involved, it’s simultaneous. Have you ever given someone a hug and they fully received it, joyfully? How did it make you and your body feel? Doesn’t your joy increase and your body feel happy? And have you ever given someone a hug and it felt like embracing a brick wall? That’s what non-receiving creates. My father tried to gift me money for years. But I kept saying ‘no, I don’t need your money, I can do it on my own!” I realised at one point, that not allowing him to gift me the money had been an unkindness. When I finally was willing to receive the money he gave me, I saw him changed entirely– he looked 10 years younger, his body totally relaxed. I thought “Wow, I had no idea my unwillingness to receive had affected him so much. What gift would it be in the world if I were willing to receive more?”
- You actually don’t want money. Most of us believe whole-heartedly that we need and want more money. We say it all the time “I want more money!!!” Did you know that the word ‘want’ actually means ‘to lack’? If you look it up in a dictionary printed prior to 1946 (or look at this online version here), want is defined primarily as meaning ‘to lack’. When you say “I want more money”, you are actually saying “I lack of more money”. The universe hears what you are saying, and delivers exactly that. Every time you catch yourself thinking “I want money”, turn it around and say “I don’t want money” 10 times. The truth is, if you wake up in the morning, you don’t lack of anything. You have everything you need to create all you desire – you.
- Money Follows Joy. We have all kinds of judgments about money: it’s a solution to problems, it’s difficult to get and it’s easy to lose. None of it is about joy. Now, think about something that is easy and fun for you to do. I love taking my dog for a walk on the beach, for example – it feels great, my dog loves it. Notice how with those things you don’t think about it, you just choose to do it, because it’s fun, because you can? What if money were the same? What if money didn’t make you happy, but your happiness allowed more money in?
- ASK, and you shall receive!If you desire more of anything, you have to be willing to ask for it. Do you ask for money? Or do you generally avoid talking about it, thinking about it, except when the bills come in? What if you would start practicing asking for the money? Stand in front of the mirror and say 20 times “Can I have the money now please?” Do you have clients who owe you money? What if you would ring them and say “Hi, can I have the money now please?” It’s not always comfortable, but practice makes it easier.
Receiving is a capacity we all have. When I allowed myself to receive more, I was able to get out of my debt in 2 years, whilst simultaneously creating more in every area of my life. What if you could change debt, not from cutting back and lack, but by being willing to receive more, and invite more money into your life, joyfully?